Anger Management/Emotional Intelligence Coaching is a Useful Adjunct to Divorce Mediation

In many states, psychological evaluations are required for divorcing couples with children. These evaluations are used to determine child custody issues.

Mediation requires that all parties who are the principles in a conflict to take part in the mediation process. If one party refuses to be a part of the mediation or conflict resolution, no resolutions are likely to occur. In contrast, either party can gain from emotional intelligence coaching making it possible to influence others in working towards behaviors that may be in the best interest of both parties as well as the children.

One Judge from the Los Angeles Family Law Court permitted my firm, Anderson & Anderson, APC to provide Emotional Intelligence Assessments and Coaching for ten divorcing couples on a voluntary basis. A similar pilot in Emotional Intelligence Coaching was conducted for couples from the Family Law Court in Huntsville, Alabama with positive outcomes. In this program, it was determined that pervasive anger was more common than psychopathology in divorcing couples.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs9Rx_AKDgY

Case Example 1

Two Physicians

Two physicians who are both surgeons attempted divorce mediation without success because of the irrational anger and paranoia of one party. With six-months of Anger management/Emotional intelligence Coaching, this physician was able to see the financial and emotional advantages of resolving the divorce through mediation rather than risk the horrendous cost of litigation.

Case Example 2

Attorney and Celebrity Wife

A prominent attorney was ordered by the court to seek anger management based on the recommendation of the psychologist who evaluated each parent and the two children regarding child custody. He was able to make enough objective progress that the court ultimately granted joint custody for both parents. In this case, mediation had failed based on the clients’ low scale scores relative to emotional intelligence competencies. Low scores in emotional self-awareness, assertive communication, empathy, social awareness and impulse control tends to derail mediation. With skill enhancement in these areas, he was able to demonstrate his ability to work cooperatively with former wife relative to alimony child support and co-parenting.

https://andersonservices.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Jane_Doe_EQi2_Sample_Report_Client.pdf

In summary, anger, rage, poor impulse control, lack of empathy or aggressive behavior can derail mediation in family law cases. Anger Management/Emotional Intelligence Coaching is proving to be far more effective than counseling, psychotherapy or mediation in cases in which intense anger is problematic. Emotional Intelligence Coaching is trending nationwide.

George Anderson, MSW, LCSW, CAMF, BCD

How Grab The Wheel Can Help Children With Autism

“Grab The Wheel”, is A Comprehensive Anger Management Curriculum for Young Children.

Bryan Anderson, MSW, LCSW, CAMF

As I made Grab The Wheel, many people asked me something like "So is it for kids with Autism?  Or for kids in general?"  Let me first make the point that children with Autism and children without Autism have more in common than they have different.  Young children are young children.  There may be differences in learning styles, or specific needs that require extra attention, but the challenges faced, and the social and emotional developmental goals of a 4, 5, and 6 year old are largely the same.

This is not to say that their experiences are the same, but it is to say that at a basic level, every young child needs practice learning about their emotions, coping with not getting their way, coping with frustration, and learning how to be a good friend.  For all children, these skills help them achieve academic success, have more success making friends, and feel happy in school.

Grab The Wheel was created with high-functioning children with Autism in mind. Particularly, it was geared to meet the needs of 4, 5, and 6 year olds who were high functioning academically, but had severe behavioral problems, poor coping skills, and social deficits.  

Why?  Because these are the children that so frequently fall through the cracks of our educational and mental health system.  Schools and teachers may not recognize the social and emotional needs of high functioning children with Autism, and may not be equipped to help them navigate the classroom and interact with their peers appropriately.

Here are the areas where children with HFASD, or any child who is struggling, may require the most support:

1 Emotion Recognition

2 Emotional Expression

3 Coping Skills and Distress Tolerance

4 Social Problem Solving

Grab The Wheel is specifically designed to help children in these areas.  The use of shadows, speech therapists, ABA therapists, and other support staff has increased as awareness about Autism has increased.  However, there is still a lack of clear and comprehensive social and emotional skill building intervention to help teachers, parents, and children navigate the challenges of day-to-day life.  

Though curriculums do exist that support developing social skills, managing anger, or learning about emotions, few can address all of these topics.  Even fewer are accessible for children ages 4-6.  If we know early intervention is the most effective--why not start sooner?  Grab The Wheel aims to give children a "head start" on the social and emotional challenges of Kindergarten and First Grade.  Grab The Wheel can also be adapted to help 2nd and 3rd graders adapt to new and more complex social challenges.

Grab The Wheel is crafted to target common behavioral challenges that may be especially relatable for children with Autism.  Frustration Tolerance, Rigidity, Anxiety, Communicating Emotions, Self-Soothing, Social Skills, and Play Skills are highlighted and specifically targeted.

Since all children and children with Autism are diverse in their needs and behavioral challenges, lessons are designed to be specific, yet general.  This allows lessons to be flexible enough for teachers and parents to adapt to a variety of children.  The skills are concrete, structured, and accompanied by highly visual supports that emphasize emotional expression.

As I prepare to launch this book and social group to the world, I can sum up my mission with one quote:

"I know why I do most of the things I do, but nobody has ever told me what to do about it."

Well, now I can tell people what my Dad told him--Grab The Wheel!

http://www.grabthewheelkids.com/blog/2015/10/26/how-grab-the-wheel-can-help-children-with-autism

George Anderson, MSW, LCSW, CAMF

Continuing Education For Certified Anger Management Facilitators

We at Anderson & Anderson, APC are excited to announce a major improvement of our widely recognized Anger Management Curriculum. In recognition of the importance of Emotional Intelligence Skill Enhancement for Impulse Control, we are increasing our focus on self-awareness, self-control, social awareness, empathy as well as relationship management.

The new certificate of completion will read: Certificate in Emotional Intelligence/Anger Management Facilitation.

Every CAMF who completes the 16-hour Home Study CEU Course on Emotional Intelligence will be allowed to use this new designation. The course will consist of a copy of The EQ Edge along with an exam. Each provider will read the book and answer the questions and receive a new Certificate of Completion.

This course is also approved for Batterers’ Intervention Facilitators, Substance Abuse Counselors, as well as providers of parenting classes.

Cost: $150

Please contact Jairo Wong at 310 679 8310 or visit our website at www.andersonservices.com for more information.

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The real question is: Can mandated Emotional Intelligence Coaching be a blessing in disguise?

Often, the unintended consequences of coaching becomes the main motivation for the coachee to actively engage in the process

In my experience, the answer is an overwhelming yes! There are many unintended consequences of Emotional Intelligence skill acquisition for work related issues. Below are a few randomly selected case examples from my work providing Emotional Intelligence Coaching for physicians:

Example # 1

One physician client revealed that he and his teenage daughter were having serious disagreements. While the focus of our Emotional Intelligence coaching is designed to increase skills in self-awareness, impulse control, social awareness, empathy, relationship management and other EI skills, an increase of skills in any of these areas can be easily generalized to all interpersonal relationships including family relationships. In this case, the physician practiced the use of the EI skills to improve his relationships with his daughter while normalizing her appropriate developmental tasks for psychological independence.

It is normal for adolescents to experience mood swings and behave contrary to the wishes of parents.Empathy means sensing others’ feelings and perspective, and taking an active interest in their concerns. People with this competence: Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well, show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives. When a parent is able to develop skills in empathy as this physician did, they are better able to help others including their children to master this skill.

Example # 2

 A physician leader discovered from his EQ-I- Assessment, that he scored low in assertiveness, empathy, flexibility, emotional self-awareness, emotional self-expression as well as social awareness, he decided to focus his coaching on skill enhancement in all of these areas. While he accomplished the goals that he established relative to his workplace behavior, he was pleasantly surprised that his relations with his wife and two young children also significantly improved. This physician used the skills learned in EI coaching to respond more appropriately to one of his sons who was identified as learning disabled.

Lets take one of the skills that this doctor selected as a action item for himself, Emotional Self- awareness–The ability to identify emotions in one’s self and recognize how they affect thought and behavior. For example, if you are shopping with your son and he sees a game that he wants and you tell him that he can put it on his wish list instead, you want your child to be able to recognize that he may feel disappointed and upset which may be resulting in him wanting to lash out inappropriately.

Example #3

 A physician leader whose spouse is also a practicing physician decided after three months of the six month coaching program that he really did not want to continue in his leadership role as his responsibilities as a parent was far more important for him and his family. He therefore, decided to complete the coaching, as he found it useful, but to step down as Department Chief because of the time commitment. This was a decision applauded by his wife and reflected in the faces of his children in a photo he shared after he announced to his wife and children  “Daddy is no longer going to spend as much time working anymore”

 Evidenced based emotional intelligence competencies for work related issues are rarely compartmentalized (limited to one setting). Rather, new EI skills tend to result in radical improvements in all intra and interpersonal relationships. Two of the components for successful coaching are valid Pre and Post Emotional Intelligence assessments such as the EQ-i-2.0 along with client workbooks and ancillary coaching material.  This is the instrument used by Anderson & Anderson, APC.

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Anger & Stress Management, Emotional Intelligence Coaching, Health Care, Tips & Interviews, Training Opportunities

EQ Assessments vs. Psychological Testing for divorcing couples

Several years ago, I asked a California Superior Court Family Law Judge if most of the couples that are mandated to complete a psychological assessment were suffering from nervous or mental disorders, his answer was “no”. When asked if anger was a major problem observed with these couples, his answer was “absolutely”.

The practice of Court mandated psychological assessments for divorcing couples with children has been common for many years. Yet, its value has rarely been questioned. Changes in assessments have not been considered in most Family Law Courts especially in California.

Emotional intelligence assessments are more focused on a clients’ ability or lack of ability to demonstrate skills in self-awareness, self-control, social awareness, and interpersonal relationship. All of these are key competencies in emotional intelligence. Psychological testing is designed to determine mental competency, intelligence or psychopathology.

After providing the judge with a sample of the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i 2.0) for use in coaching clients relative to intra and interpersonal relationships, he was able to see the merits of EI assessments. This led to six-month pilot program in which ten couples were referred for Emotional Intelligence Assessments rather than mental health testing. Individual Coaching was mandated for clients who scored in the low or mid range on the EQ-i-2.0.

http://andersonservices.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Jane_Doe_EQi2_Sample_Report_Client.pdf

Pre and Post Assessments along with client workbooks were used in the six-month coaching program for couples. Most of the clients demonstrated significant gains from this intervention based on the results of the Post Assessments. Further, these participants were eager to engage in coaching rather than counseling or psychotherapy. There are no stigmas associated with emotional intelligence skill enhancement.  

George Anderson, MSW, CAMF

CEO, Anderson & Anderson, APC

Anger Management is more than managing anger

The most common Emotional Intelligence deficits found in anger management clients at Anderson & Anderson, APC are: emotional self-awareness, emotional expression, empathy, assertiveness, impulse control and interpersonal relationships. The instrument used is the EQ-i-2.0.